Shadows Past
by morgana07
Summary: Sam faces hunters alone, Dean's MIA since refusing Sam's plea to return. When someone from their past resurfaces to help Sam, three questions remain: Where is Dean, can he help his hurt brother out of the shell this attack put him in & can something their Father did years earlier be corrected?  Hurt/confused!Sam / Limp/frustrated!Dean.  1st in Shadows Past series
1. Chapter 1

**Shadows Past**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the boys or other Supernatural characters(drat) and the other characters do belong to me.**

**Summary: As Sam faces hunters alone someone from his and Dean's past resurfaces but as he struggles to recover it's a question on where is his brother and can something be corrected that his Father ruined years earlier. Hurt/Sam, OC involved.**

**A/N: **_This will lead into a much larger solo story that explores the connections mentioned here. Sorry if this one drags. Second chapter should go up soon._

**SPN SPN SPN**

"Leave him alone!" Lindsey was struggling in the grasp of the man who held her while his two pals attacked the man for past few weeks she'd known only as Keith.

"Doll, you'd do best to keep you mouth shut and out of what doesn't concern you."

A kick to his already battered and broken ribs caused Sam Winchester to gasp as he fought to get back to his feet. Not only for the ability to better defend himself but also to try to distract the three hunters away from Lindsey.

"Get…get away…from her." he gritted, grunting as a steel-toed boot slammed into his gut again and he nearly went down as hands grabbed him.

"Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, you brought this on yourself." the one hunter chided as he reached for the heavy rope and a small vial of red liquid. "You're gonna hold still, be a good boy, drink your medicine and help up get rid of those damn demons and then maybe we won't hurt the girl or your big brother."

The threat to Lindsey was one thing but hearing them threaten Dean nearly froze Sam until he felt the rough hands force his mouth open to try to pour the vial into it. He knew what it was and knew that he was to fight harder but as pain shot through his body and Lindsey screamed again, Sam wasn't certain how until a flash of light exploded and the hunter with the vial shouted as he was shoved away.

The man holding Sam dropped him to help his friend when the sound of a weapon being cocked stopped him in mid-step while something that Sam still couldn't see took out Lindsey's captor.

"Hello, boys." a soft female voice with an accent that drew Sam's memory spoke and the sound of heels clicked on the barroom floor.

Spitting out the blood that had managed to go into his mouth and collapsing to the floor, Sam struggled to see past his own blood dripping into his eyes to see who'd just come to his rescue when he had long ago stopped believing anyone would.

Aside from the tall black haired man with flashing blue eyes that was keeping his one attacker pinned to the floor by just the light coming from his hand, the room also had a half dozen armed men but what drew his attention was the woman.

A good foot shorter than Sam himself, he fought to peg both the voice and the bright blue eyes that locked on his for a moment before slitting dangerously at the hunters.

"Just for the record and before I choose to let Kelly and the lads play target practice on your hides, let me fill you in on a tiny FYI. There are three things in this world that no one, hunters, demons, angels, etc, ever messes with and lives," the British accent stayed calm but the edge changed as she removed a silver knife from a hip sheath and went to kneel down next to Sam while counting on her fingers.

"1- A certain black 1967 Chevy Impala that I got tired of hearing its owner bitch every time something or someone would get near it. #2- Dean Winchester since the last son of a bitch that hurt, maimed or threatened him I made certain they never came out of the pine box and #3- Sammy. You do not touch, hurt, threaten or even bruise the boy that Dean and I spent a summer keepin' out of trouble unless you want to see what I can do."

Sam winced but he shot his eyes up, swallowing hard while pleased not to feel any loose teeth. "Morgan," he whispered, the accent finally hitting home as he listened to the three rules of Winchester protecting that he'd learned the summer he was twelve. That and there was only one other person besides his brother that he allowed to call him Sammy.

"Y'know, I had hoped you'd stop attracting attention like this when he hit that growth spurt," she spoke easily, slicing the ropes while easing him back to the floor to look at the younger Winchester.

Sam's face was bruised with a gash in his forehead but his eyes were still clear as he stared at the young woman he'd watched his sixteen year old brother make his own puppy dog eyes at years ago. "You real or is this another Lucifer trick?"

Morgan Harrison remembered the twelve year old boy she'd known and saw the same confusion in his eyes as she had then. "I'm real and you'll figure that out once I find your stupid brother and smack him upside his head for a few things."

"You're the only one Dean let smack him in the head besides Bobby," Sam murmured, seeing a young man talking to Lindsey while Morgan stood to try to get Sam on his feet. "He missed you…we both did."

Swallowing as he brought up too much of the past, Morgan whistled to a blond man to help her get Sam's 6'4" frame off the floor. "Wait until I start smacking you, Sammy and then see how you missed me and why would Lucifer be trying to trick you?"

Swaying on his feet, Sam weaved and felt his stomach lurch as the beating, the blood and the shock began catching up to him. "Dean's gone, he hates me so Lucifer knows there's nothing to keep me from saying no to him and now that the hunting community knows about me I'd rather be dead than think they'd hurt Dean."

Morgan looked up at him, cursing the fact that a boy that she'd once been able to pick up and carry was now a solid full foot taller than her. "Let's get you outta here so my medic can patch you up while I leave a nice message on your dimwitted brother's phone."

"Dean's better off…off without…" Sam had taken a step when he fell straight down and only the quick thinking of a mystic and a fast spell kept him from face planting on the floor.

"Yep, nice face-dive there, Sammy," she sighed, rolling her eyes and wondering just how far he and Dean had strayed if the oldest Winchester had allowed this happen and what would it take to get Dean to Oregon without a huge hassle or screaming match. 'Guess we'll find out,'

_A second chapter will go up and this will lead into the larger piece I've been planning._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"Look, old man, I don't care what else you're into because we both know that you do not want me to call Dean and leave that message." Morgan Harrison rolled her eyes as if Bobby Singer could see over the phone.

After pulling Sam out of the bar once he'd passed out, Morgan had stayed with the younger Winchester while her people made sure the hotel and the area stayed secure.

Now after 48 hours of fever, pained screams and hallcinations that had the British woman shouting for mystical help more than once because Sam had grown a hell of a lot stronger than he'd been the last time she'd seen him physically and while she could have handled him herself Morgan had sworn not to use her own powers on either of the Winchesters… though right now she wasn't sure how much longer Dean would have that protection.

"No…don't…Dean, where…?" Sam's voice was choked off as he fought things only his fevered mind could see. "Dad…"

That caused her to look between the bed and the phone, frowning more. "Singer, Sam's hurt a hell of a lot more than what those so-called hunters did to him and this fever isn't going down. Now, I don't give a care what Dean's doing or why he suddenly thinks it's fine if Sammy goes off on his own, just call him and tell him to get his ass to Oregon or it won't be pleasant for him."

Bobby rubbed his eyes to ease the pressure building. He'd known when he got the call a few days ago that things weren't going to be good but now that Sam's fever was making him worse and his damn brother had pulled a disappearing act, memories of the summer Dean was sixteen flashed in his mind.

The older hunter had seen Morgan go toe-to-toe with John Winchester over his sons and while he doubted if she'd give Dean the same treatment as John got…unless Sam got worse and then who knows what would happen.

"What's the boy's temperature?" he finally asked, knowing he had to have hard facts to give the oldest Winchester once he found him.

Looking at the broken thermometer that was smashed to pieces the last time she'd attempted to use it on Sam, Morgan sat down on the edge of the bed and knocked one large hand back to the bed before it could connect. "It was 105.4 an hour ago and by the way he's thrashing and screaming for Dean I'd say it's probably climbed a few more degrees."

Listening to the muted cries and shouts of the boy he'd watch grow up, Bobby scowled as the sound of fluttering wings behind him announced the arrival of his not so favorite new ally.

"Alright, work on keeping him calm and get his fever down. I'll call in some…favors and find that idjit brother of his," Bobby shot Castiel dark look that meant 'go get it done'.

Morgan felt like replying to that but decided it wasn't worth the hassle so she tossed the phone on the table and reached for an ice cold cloth to use to wipe the young man's bruised and swollen face when she suddenly found cloudy, confused hazel eyes watching her. "Sam."

"Where's De?" the now hoarse voice was softly quiet and something in it tinged Morgan with more than concern. "Morgan? Where's De? Dad's not home…is he?"

The concern she'd been feeling now had her stomach dropping to the floor. Sam had only called Dean by that nickname when he'd been small or the year he was twelve and had been scared.

A quick look told her this wasn't an adult mind she was dealing with. Something, be it the attack, the fever or the feelings he'd been burying, had regressed his mind to a better time in his life. Or at least a time when he'd felt safe with the two people he knew would protect him.

Swallowing the lump, Morgan smiled shakily as she reached to wiped the cloth across his forehead where a large purple bruise was showing.

"No, Sammy. Your Dad's not home and Dean had to go into town for Bobby but will be back soon." she replied calmly, quickly pushing back on his shoulder before Sam decided to get up. "Whoa, you know the rules right?"

The brief flash of childhood Sammy appeared as he rolled his eyes but kept looking around as if searching for something. "When Dean's not here you're in charge and I have to listen to you or else." he recited as if by memory and they both knew what Dean Winchester's 'or else' had been.

Smiling as she had to reassure the younger boy, Morgan smoothed a hand over sweat soaked hair that was still too long. "Well, then you know that means letting me treat these wounds and taking the meds I give you."

"Yuck, it tastes like Bobby's lemonade," Sam made a face but finally took the pills she placed in his hand and soon he was drifting again but this time he had taken a hold of her hand in a near death grip. "Stay."

As she sat back down, Morgan thought back to another time when Sam was scared and without his brother. He'd been twelve and Dean had been on the brutal receiving end of one of John Winchester's rages.

While the Winchester boys had been raised hunters so to speak, Morgan had also grown up hunting but because of her abilities that tended to make hunters like Winchester distrustful but still she and Dean had formed more than a casual friendship.

So when John had left his boys with Jim Murphy while he went with Bobby to hunt, the anger in the Pastor's soul was huge enough that he called on the teenage girl to help him. When Morgan had arrived at the church and took one look at a scared Sam and a badly beaten Dean, she reacted accordingly and only Bobby was still alive and knew what happened then.

Morgan blocked those thoughts out as Sam began tensing, his face scrunching up in fear. "No…no, stay away…not a monster…"

"Of course you're not a monster, Sammy." she soothed, carding fingers through his hair to calm him down. "No one thinks that you are."

"Dean does." he mumbled, curling onto his side and clutching a pillow. "It's all my fault. I failed to save Dean from his deal and he went to Hell, breaking the first Seal. I got fooled by Ruby while he was gone, addicted to Demon blood, chose her over my…over Dean and started the whole Apocalypse."

As Sam talked, his shoulders were shaking and he seemed oblvious to the tears on his cheeks. "Dean can't trust me. He doesn't want to be my brother anymore and…"

If Morgan had been between anger at Dean's lack of caring or that he just let his brother, who he'd always been protective over, and concern over Sam's despondent words, that heartbreaking announcement cut her as deep as the pain she'd felt the night she'd left Bobby's place after the final blow-up between her and John.

"Sammy, Dean trusts you but…" how to explain something that even she didn't have the answers for. "If he knew about this…"

A violent head shake as his body trembled harder. "He wouldn't care. Dean…said I was a monster. He won't care that hunters hurt me…just like he wouldn't if he knew what Zachariah…"

Sam's voice broke off suddenly, rolling over to look up at her with eyes that spoke more of his longing to have his big brother than anything else. "I just want Dean, Morgan. Even if he hates me, even if he says we can't hunt together I…just want him here."

Now his eyes, slightly less cloudy but still in shock, locked on hers just as his fingers tightened on her wrist. "I know Dad made you leave Dean and I know that Dean still believes Dad's excuse but he'd come for you before he would me…he…"

"Sam, Dean would come for you." Morgan spoke softly, wanting to comfort this man who was so much like a boy inside that his stubborn mule-headed brother wasn't willing to see past the betrayals he felt. "He will come for you, Sammy." she whispered as Sam slowly felt back to sleep but this time she could feel the fever coming again and knew it was time to stop fooling around and find Dean Winchester her own way.

"Jack! You. Me. Talk. Now!" she snapped, keeping her voice low so she didn't wake Sam back up even as the mystic in question appeared in the room.

One of the many siblings in the powerful family of mystics, Jack shifted a look around the messy room before eyeing his friend. "I can try to heal him but in his state he may not appreciate it."

"I need to find his brother and if Bobby Singer can't get Dean on a phone then something's wrong," Morgan pulled another blanket up over Sam. "Bobby muttered something about Angels not being able to find the boys due to some kind of Enochian symbols he carved into their ribs…"

Jack's face scrunched at that and then his eyes rolled. "Yeah, leave it to Castiel to do that," he mumbled, coughing. "There's a reason that Singer can't find the other Winchester."

"Oh, this should be good." Morgan sighed, cringing as Sam's mumbles tore at her heart until the name Lucifer came up and Jack's hand came down on his forehead. "Jack?"

"No…I won't say…you leave him alone. No!" Sam tried to fight but cried out when the hand laid on his skin. "NOOO!"

The mystic frowned as he shut his eyes, scowling suddenly. "Damn Lucifer turned from Archangel to dream-stalker." he sounded disgusted, moving his hand over Sam's head until it calmed. "Back the hell, sorry no pun, off the kid."

Morgan watched as light flickered from Jack's hand and Sam tensed even as the mystic jerked back as if seeing something. "What?"

"That's why his brother isn't answering anyone's calls." Jack looked livid and worried at the same time. "Stupid, freakin' Angels are one thing but now Zachariah's gone way too far." he groused. "Stay with Sam, yell for my brothers if you even think you see an Angel or a Demon and I'll be back."

Before she could ask what or where, he was gone and Sam curled into himself again with his brother's name on his lips and she wondered if it was a dream or something else.

'Damn, I thought dealing with Wendigos and shapeshifters and ghosts were bad on top of Dean being a moron all the time,' she sighed, ignoring the cold feeling in her heart as she thought of the eldest Winchester. "Dean'll come, Sammy. Jack will bring him back to you…I hope."

_A/N: Looks like a 3__rd__ chapter will be needed. Will Dean go for his brother, will he forgive or just what is Dean into that's keeping him tied up?_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

" 'This is Dean, leave me a message,'" the voicemail requested as the cell-phone laid untouched on the floor of the dingy motel room somewhere in Oklahoma while its owner writhed in agony.

"Dean, Dean, Dean, I had hoped after all that you had seen in the future that you would have learned that delaying your acceptance of Michael will only serve to ensure that place comes to pass."

Glass crunched as the bald paunchy looking man in a neatly pressed suit walked around the man on the floor, casually moving a hand and smiling thinly as the man choked on more blood from the internal bleeding he'd been inflicting for the past while.

"Go…to…hell…" Dean Winchester gritted between clenched teeth while trying to glare up at Zachariah. "You're…playin' with that like every…everything else. Sam…won't say yes."

Clucking his tongue, Zachariah sneered while kneeling down to jerk Dean's head up. "Oh, he will. You see even as you lay here in this hovel coughing your lungs up, your little brother whom you were so kind to leave on his own is somewhere else curled in a ball, delirious with fever after some of your fellow hunters attacked him, filled him up with that wonderful demon blood he craves so much and used him to butcher a horde of demons."

Rage built quickly but the sudden flare of pain made him fall back to the floor even before two of the suited Angel-enforcers kicked him down. "You're lying. Sam…he woulda called if…"

"Ah, but you see poor Sam is so convinced that you hate and mistrust him that he's wallowing in all that guilt and self-pity," Zachariah sneered. "I'm actually impressed that while you're refusing your own destiny with Michael you, Dean, have helped to sway Sam over to Lucifer better than anything that self-important blow-hard ever could. By refusing Sam, pushing him away like you have, he's alone and we both know your brother has never done 'alone' well. That is why he was the perfect patsy for Ruby."

Dean spit blood and growled, struggling to ignore the pit of fear in his heart as he listened, thoughts of his recent strained relationship with his little brother and suddenly he could have kicked himself if he'd had the strength.

"You…you've been screwing with…me and Sam." he forced out, feeling his lungs try to breath as he glared up at the Angel that's been dogging his steps for months. "You…wanted Lucifer free, you knew what Sam was doing and wouldn't…let me stop him. Now…you forced us apart. You made me doubt, see the worst things about Sam…about my brother, knowing if I left him that he…"

"Sam will accept Lucifer and then you will accept Michael to save the world," Zachariah nodded as if pleased, standing to wipe stray blood on the bedspread. "A little pull here, a push there and of course a mention of Sam starting the Apocalypse to a few braindead hunters was all it took to make little Sammy become the meatsuit for…"

Ignoring the burning in his gut, the lack of air he was losing, Dean lunged for the bald Angel but was easily swatted back. Slamming into the wall with a groan, he collapsed.

"You…don't call him Sammy," he gritted, seeing lights in his eyes as one of the enforcers stepped on his throat. "You dickheads touch…my brother and I'll…kill you…"

Zachariah laughed, face hardening as he glared at this simple mortal who was too stupid to give in. "How, when all it will take is a simple step to render you dead and once Michael brings you back maybe then you'll realize this refusal on your part is useless."

Dean felt the agony flare in his body but even as he felt the pressure on his throat, his throats went to his brother and how stupid he'd been to allow Sam to go.

"Besides, how can a simple braindead mortal who can barely walk upright kill an Angel, Dean?" Zachariah taunted, watching as the young man still fought.

"Actually, there's more than one way to kill a stuck-up Angel," a sharp voice replied even as a bright light flashed and the enforcer standing on Dean's throat vanished in a scream. "Angels kill angels with that shiny sword or that nifty blood signal but hey, I'm certainly no Angel and I have to use a more simple approach."

Jack MacShayne heard the roar of anger but lifted a hand to send the other enforcer away in a fiery light before whirling to face the snarling balding form of Zachariah, eyes sparking. "You might want to rethink that, Unc," he warned, hand holding a glowing blue ball of energy while he cast a quick look toward Dean. "Winchester, you still alive down there?"

Barely conscious while pain still hit, Dean groaned and tried to reply but couldn't so Jack took that as an answer, shaking his head.

"One shot at me not flash frying you back to the Pearly Gates," he shot a pointed look downward then back to the fuming Angel. "Fix him and I mean 100%, fully healed, tip-top shape with no aftereffects because if he even gets a nosebleed afterward I'll remind my brother why Ethan hates you so damn much."

Zachariah snarled but didn't move to heal, just crossed his arm. "What are you doing interfering in what doesn't concern you, boy?" he demanded coldly. "This is a matter for the big boys and…"

The light by his head explodes as Jack merely tilts his head, the smile playing on his lips. "You can hurt and intimidate the mortals but not me, Zachariah. In fact, I could probably hurt you faster than you can try to hurt me." the smile grew. "After all, my mother might've been an Angel once but most of my power comes from Dad."

"Amelia's poor taste is always an embarrassment to us," Zachariah muttered, wincing as another light exploded. "Jack…"

"Heal Dean Winchester, now." Jack snapped, tossing the orb in the air but catching it. "Heal him and leave before I zap you outta here."

Considering if the young mystic was bluffing, Zachariah scowled but finally waved a hand and Dean slowly stopped jerking on the floor and while his breathing was labored at least he was breathing.

"This won't change anything," the Angel sneered. "His brother will still say yes and…"

"You really should have done the homework on the Winchester's a bit better, Unc," Jack grinned. "Your side and Luci's can fight to hell literally freezes over but my employer won't allow anything to happen to either of these guys and she can fry Angel ass on sight so I really suggest you think twice about 'influencing' either Dean or his brother. Now get the hell outta here before I rethink this and I kill you for the fact that you are one pain in the ass."

A snort and a flutter of wings and Jack scowled. "I hate when the bastard does that."

"Heh,…that's what…I say,"

Content that the room was secure for the time-being, Jack made the orb vanish with a wave before kneeling next to the eldest Winchester. "Yeah, well I've been saying for about a millennia or two."

Laying a careful hand on a blood soaked shirt, Jack gauged to be certain all the injuries internally had been healed or if he needed to do some patching of his own. "I can't sense anything out of place inside so if you do, now would be a nice time to tell me, Dean."

Finally able to breathe, Dean was able to roll on his back and after another moment he could see the body kneeling next to him. Tensing as he caught the reminder of power in his eyes, instincts kicked in and he attempted to move too fast only to fall back on his side.

"Who the hell are you?" he demanded, voice still scratchy but strong but the young man next to him didn't seem too alarmed. "How…how'd you know my name and why did Zach actually looked scared of you?"

"That old windbag is scared of anything with even a hint of power, even if it's lesser than his," Jack snorted, standing and extending a hand. "He won't ever admit it but Zachariah's even scared of Castiel a little."

Seeing the caution in the opposite set of green eyes, he finally sighed. "Winchester, be serious. If I was a threat to you you'd already be a smokin' pile of ash on the floor instead of getting yourself cleaned up so I can hopefully teleport you to Oregon before my employer starts takin' her frustration out on me."

"Say again?" pulling himself up to sitting on his bed, Dean quickly pulled his bloody shirt off to check for marks or wounds but didn't see anything. "What's in Oregon? Why the hell would I let you send me anywhere and what the hell was Zach spoutin' off about my brother?"

"Well, at least you remember that you have a brother," Jack smirked, leaning against the wall. "That's a step in a good direction because frankly I think my boss is pretty much ready to smack you upside your head which would not be good for you, especially given the situation we found your little brother in."

Hissing as bruised ribs still smarted, Dean quirked a brow at the man across the room. "Only one person besides Bobby Singer used to be able to smack me in the head, dude and she sure as hell isn't around to do it now," he threw back then focused on something else. "What the hell about my brother? Where's Sam and was anything Zach said true?"

"To a degree," Jack nodded, pulling a chair out to straddle it while Dean weaved into the bathroom but kept the door open so he could still watch this mysterious new arrival. "Sam's in Oregon and he was attacked by hunters who tried to make him drink demon blood but…help arrived to keep them from using him against the demons."

Quickly splashing water on his face, Dean stuck his head out to glare. "What hunters and where are they now?"

Hearing the unspoken threat in those words, Jack covered his grin with a hand. "Didn't really catch a name while Kelly's boys were mopping the floor with 'em and then I was sort of busy helping out when Sam's wounds caused all hell…that was probably wrong word choice…"

Moving quicker than he was expecting, Dean was out of the bathroom and had Jack by the throat in the next second. "Where is my brother?" he gritted. "If you touched him I'll…"

"Now you're over protective?" Jack scoffed, blinking and standing behind Dean. "Kid, a little more of that before and none of us would be here right now. Dean, consider before you come at me again because I can hurt you in a way that makes Zachariah look tame and it would only cause me pain when my boss found out now back off and I'll tell you about your brother."

Considering, he slowly sat down but not before reaching for the gun that had fallen to the floor. "Do I know you? Why are you here?"

"You might've met my little brother one time or another but it's hard to tell if Devan showed himself to you with Singer around. Kel said she tried to keep us away for reasons that would be easy to understand if you knew what was going on." Jack paused to consider his next few words. "As for why I'm here, orders are to find you because your brother's fever is spiking and he's convinced he's a monster and that you don't want to be his brother anymore."

Green eyes shot to his before lowering as Dean recalled the last times he spent with his brother before they split. "We agreed…that it would be best to…hunt alone for awhile," he mumbled, fingering the amulet he wore.

"No, you decided and Sam, knowing how you've felt for him since you learned about the blood and the bitch from hell, just went along with it," the words hurt but Dean knew they were true so he didn't try to correct them. "So, before I drop it on you about his current status, how about I tell you a little story?"

Jack walked around the room and noticed a few things he found interesting, like why the room still had two double beds for one man and that bed was relatively untouched from clutter unlike the rest of the room. A tiny picture stuck in a book that he was certain would match one he'd seen in Morgan's collection and finally a child's drawing signed 'To De from Sammy'.

"So, our story starts off with a tale of two brothers. One, who from his earliest memory, has just seeked his father's approval and affection. While the younger one never knew his father well enough to know to want those things. He was raised from infancy by his brother so all the love, bonding, and nurturing that goes from son to Father never happened. The little one projected all those things onto his older and adored brother," Jack paused to watch Dean's face and was pleased to see that he had his attention at least.

"Now, the hero of this tale raised his brother, he protected him from day one and from the night that evil entered into their lives he never stopped protecting him…well he did eventually but that's another part of the story," coughing he went on slowly, making sure to keep to the point. "These boys grew up hard and fast and God knows the Father never would've won Father of the Year award anytime in that childhood but it never stopped his sons from loving him…even though to the younger one, he was more…a token presence than a Father."

Dean's eyebrow quirked and he knew his facial muscles had twitched when the mystic shot him a warning smirk but he stayed silent, pretty certain he knew where this was going.

"Yeah, I know and you know that your Dad sucked as father material, Dean. I mean, my old man is bad but at least he waits for his kids to hit puberty to throw us to the wolves. John had your life planned from the day after the fire and he ruled it with an iron fist. Not giving a crap at who he hurt or what he had to do to make it happen," Jack moved a hand slightly when Dean shifted, anger plain. "He beat you how many times and still you followed along. He lied to you so many times that if you knew half of the crap he lied to you about then maybe things would've been different but he needed to keep you in line so he lied, he conned and he made damn sure the other thing good in your life besides your brother wouldn't be a threat to that control."

"My Dad did what he had to back then," Dean gritted, finger clenching and unclenching. "You want to skip the trip down my life and…"

Lights flashed in the other man's eyes as a glimpse of his power shone through. "Your Dad knew for a year before he died about Sam. He made you more responsible for your brother by that little deathbed confession of his but by then all the cards were in place to make sure you and Sam would play your parts." he snapped. "From the night you burned John Winchester's body, the seeds had been sown to create the rift that you're facing now and John's lies kept you from having the one thing to help you keep Sam alive, to keep all of this from happening. Now, he didn't know that but he did have the choice in accepting help or making that deal because he was offered help in bringing you back and he refused."

Dean frowned, confused. "You're saying that my Dad didn't have to make the deal? Who did he refuse? Why?"

"That's…against the rules to say right now but he could have had you healed without making that deal…though you could've saved Sam in Cold Oak by lifting a phone too." Jack knew he had to steer this back onto safe ground or risk his orders. "The issue is, all of this has been made to make Sam out to be the bad guy. You died and he was broken. Nothing that Singer did was enough and that old man tried. My boss did what we could from the distance that had to be kept but it wasn't enough to keep him from falling for that demon skank…and truth be told, the boss so wanted to fry her butt from day one."

"You keep saying 'your boss'. Who're you working for that would give a rat's ass for me or Sam?" Dean demanded, concentrating on things that had been said as if trying to solve a puzzle. "You're sort of the type of thing I've hunted my whole life."

Jack honestly couldn't see how Kelly hadn't killed this one before now but shrugged it off. "Yeah, I know and I also know you once made an exception to that rule."

"Shut up," Dean's tone had dropped dangerously now, pushing to his feet to begin to shove things in his duffel. "You don't mention her. My Dad was right and…"

"Your Dad was an asshole and he lied through his teeth to you about why she left." Jack snapped back, considering before going on. "Tell me, what does the phrase 'No one will hurt our Sammy' mean to you?" the mystic shifted to the side just as the silver knife went past his face. "Something then, I take it?"

Yeah, that phrase meant something to Dean but the emotions it brought back were also too fresh as memories of the year he'd been sixteen had been coming back to him for some reason recently. "How the hell do you know that phrase?" he demanded harshly.

"Because I've been hearing it for the past week every time the boss has had to calm your brother down when his fever makes him think he's twelve and you're still the greatest thing to him," Jack shrugged, seeing the realization coming. "Dean, this is me being totally honest, you and Sam have both been used to the fullest pretty much since you were born and I know the whole blood, demon bitch, hiding stuff thing has made you doubt your brother but did you stop to think how Sam's felt in all of this?"

Not giving Dean a shot at an answer, Jack went on while ignoring the vibrating phone in his jacket. "You died for him. Sold your soul just like John did for you but unlike with John, Sam didn't have you to fall back on anymore. You left him alone and despite the power, despite him trying to act or brave and tough that kid was like that six month old you carried from the fire. He was scared, lost, alone and willing to cling to the first touch or contact and, for reasons that escape me, that person was Ruby who knew just what your death would do to Sam and she played it for all its worth."

"Yeah, how many people choose a demon over their brother?" Dean snorted, wincing as a hand slapped him in the back of the head. "Hey!"

"Damn, you are as hardheaded as she said you were and more! Ruby knew she was losing Sam, you moron. That last blood she gave him that night was tainted. Your brother was barely in control of his body that night and he would've gone back for you if Zach hadn't screwed up your voicemail message." Jack rolled his eyes as he paced away, whirling back to face a stunned Dean. "Those hunters threatened you and that boy still froze. He's got wounds that he must've had from when he was with you that he didn't report because they got infected which didn't help the fever any. He doesn't care that you hate him, he knows you think he's a monster and you don't want him as a brother but he still wants you with him because he's scared and alone. Now, I can excuse you not answering the phone due to Zach's little excursion but if you don't go to him then I can promise you will feel pain like you've only felt once in your life."

Trying to ignore the lump in his throat, Dean looked away from the glare when the ringing finally got through to him and he smirked. "You have a cell phone, dude?"

"You got Castiel a cell phone, Winchester," Jack retorted, jerking the annoying thing out to scan the caller ID and groaning. "Even mystics need a cell phone these days and keep your mouth shut while I'm on this."

Taking a deep breath as he answered, he made his tone seem light and calm despite the dread. "Yeah, boss?" wincing at the sharp voice he got in return, Jack listened for a moment before rolling his eyes. "Umm, yes. There was Angel interference and I got to threaten a relative…God I hate Mom's family, so how's it back…oh. How old has he regressed to? Damn…what? That's not a good…no, I know I don't get an opinion."

Holding the phone a second, Jack finally held it out to Dean. "Talk to your brother," he ordered, eyes grim and almost sad and as Dean seemed to hesitate he motioned with the phone again but this time hardened his voice. "He doesn't understand where Dean and his Dad are for so long and has been crying for you so unless you want to see my boss up close and personal and in rare 'protect Sam' form then I suggest you take this damn thing and bluff your way through it."

Not certain if he wanted to do this, Dean took the phone and took a deep controlled breath before speaking. "Yeah?"

"He's in age twelve frame of mind, stupid," Jack hissed, knowing that Morgan would kill soon if he didn't get the older brother back to them even if she didn't plan on seeing him…which in the mystic's opinion was foolish. "Can you find it in you to pretend like it was when you were sixteen and still over protective and loving?"

Dean glared at the sarcasm but his breath caught as he heard the voice on the other end. While it was an adult's voice, the tone took him back too many years. The softness in it, the fear that Sam always felt when Dean was out hunting with John.

Listening, his eyes closed both because he was suddenly tired and so he didn't have to look through the tears that were forming. "Hey, Sammy," he murmured, picturing the trauma or shock that would have had to have been induced to have caused this reaction. "Yeah, it's me. You hurt?" as his little brother spoke, Dean listened to the inflictions that indicated pain, shock and no doubt fever but something made him open his eyes. "She did, huh? Yeah, Sammy, Morgan always takes care of you when I'm not there and she usually spoiled you rotten. Popsicles? Ask her how come you get popsicles when you're sick and all I got was stuff that tasted like turpentine?" Dean felt a small smile when he heard his sick brother actually do that and swallowed when he heard the reply. "Well, save some for me and I'll be…home pretty soon. Yeah, I promise, Sam. Just me. Dad's up…hunting with Caleb and Jefferson."

Another couple minutes were spent reassuring and promising before Dean slowly closed the cell phone and handed it back. "What's wrong with him?" he asked quietly, not bothering to wipe the tears the call had caused. "Will he be alright?"

"According to the medic that was by, his current state is a combination of the shock, fever, infection, and his fear over losing the only thing he loves…you," Jack answered simply, not feeling like making any wisecracks once he saw the pain in the other man's eyes. "As for, will he be alright? Stan said if his fever didn't get too high and something pulls him out of it then he'd recover but my opinion is the reason he went back in his mind to a time when he was safest is also as a way to avoid Lucifer. He's scared of him and that dork is playing the being alone and hated angle for all it's value."

Dean moved to the mirror and pulled out the photo to glance at it before pushing it and the drawing back in his duffel, ignoring the doubts that lingered in favor of a small inkling of hope. Hope that he could still make this right and that he hadn't hurt his brother more than anything else had.

"Can you get me to Sam?" he had a feeling he knew and wouldn't like the answer even as he seen the grin. "This is going to be like Cas's trips, ain't it?"

"No, Castiel moves around from moment to moment. When I teleport, something else," Jack admitted, beginning to move a hand when Dean caught his wrist; a question on his lips.

"You called Zachariah 'Unc' a couple times and said your Mother had been an Angel. Would that make Lucifer…"

Shaking his head, Jack was firm on this. "I try to ignore admitting that he's even closely related to me but then when I think that my Mom's a Fallen Angel and my Dad's some form of high-ranking Demon, I guess having Lucifer on the family tree isn't that bad."

Before Dean could blink at that announcement, he felt the world move and in the next instant he wasn't in the hotel room any longer but standing outside what appeared to be a small but cozy cabin surrounded by woods.

"Where are we?"

Jack had seemed to be talking to someone else before facing Dean, tilting his head to the cabin. "Oregon. Your brother's inside." he just wasn't certain if his boss had decided to stick this out or bolt.

Dean buried his feelings, determined it best to go into this detached until a crash echoed from inside and a scream followed that shot him into action as he ran for the cabin while the mystic shook his head and followed at a much slower pace.

"This won't be pretty."

_A/N: This will finish in the final chapter. Will Dean swallow all his feelings and resentment in time to help Sam come back to his self or is it too late?_

_Thanks to everyone who is following this. Sorry it's taking so long. This was only supposed to be two chapters at most._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

**Around the same time:**

The giggling should have warned her. Giggles anytime when dealing with a Winchester just was not a good thing, especially when the Winchester in question had the body of a full grown man but the mind set of a sick pre-teen hyped on way to much sugar.

"What the bloody hell did you give him in that medication?" she demanded of the medic that worked for her. "I asked you to watch Sam for twenty minutes or less while I argued with your other boss and tried to get Jack to answer his damn phone, now look at him!"

Both Morgan Harrison and Stanley Blackwell looked on as Sam, ignoring the still infected wounds, bruises, swollen face and fever, moved around the front room of the cabin Morgan had moved them to like a restless child looking for trouble.

She had come in from talking on the phone after Sam had spoken to his brother to find him climbing the sofa like he had as a kid.

"He hasn't had the meds yet," Stan grumbled, wincing as a chair fell over in Sam's haste to look out the window again. "He melted all the damn popsicles you bought for him and drank the crap along with three cups of sugar that he added to it."

"Bloody hell," she groaned, rubbing the migraine that was slowly building.

A sick Sam had never been fun to handle. A sick, hurt, restless Sam who'd had too much sugar of any kind was just out of control and that had been for both her and Dean to handle. Now in this state, she could tell it would be ten times as bad.

"Sammy, get back on the couch or go lie down. You're still too warm to be climbing on stuff," she tried to use the same tone she had once but being hyper and in the mind-set of an excited twelve year old she suspected the reply wouldn't be good.

Yep, full on Sammy bitch-face hit right on cue and Morgan would have sworn the 6'4" Sam actually stomped his feet.

"No, Dean said he'd be home soon and I wanna see him," his lip jutted out and then just as quick he was back scooting between windows before his hand lifted for the curtain.

"Uh-huh, climb that curtain and you've had it, Sammy," Morgan warned, hearing Stan draw in a breath. "You're a…big boy now and can't go climbing things."

Another look but Sam moved away from the curtain, his hazel eyes still weren't clear as they roamed the cabin. "This is like the cabin we were in when Dean was hurt after I'd run away," he shifted weak puppy dog eyes on Morgan since he knew they normally worked. "If it snowed, we could build a snowman like before and you and Dean could cuddle like…"

"Sam, shut up." Morgan closed her eyes and held a hand up to stop the smirk on her medic's face. "Don't say it, Stan."

"I'm wondering what else happened that time that you didn't bother to tell Kel," the medic coughed, hearing something from outside and recognizing the aftereffects of Jack's power. "You planning on staying to see him or are we leaving cause we're outta time."

Morgan sighed, unsure of what action was best. On the one hand, she wasn't ready to deal with Dean since he still didn't know the reason she left the last time and he needed to focus on his brother. A sudden sound from the bedroom had her whirling and remembering the reason to stay.

After being apart for so long, she wasn't certain Dean could handle this version of his brother on his own right away.

"Hell, I'm not sure I can handle him," she muttered, hearing a louder crash and getting to the bedroom in time to see the bed fall apart. "Sam!"

The double bed which had been rather study for normal cases was now in pieces when an adult man of Sam's size and weight decided to bide his nervous time jumping on it. Now both the mattress and Sam sat on the floor and a set of watery eyes gazed up at Morgan.

"Bed broke," he proclaimed pitifully, motioning around him. "Stupid bed."

Morgan struggled between laughing and screaming after making sure he hadn't pulled any stitches and leaned back to gaze at him, a hand pushing bangs back off his forehead and feeling warmth. "I told you to lie down in the bed, not jump on it."

"I want Dean!" he yelled, crossing his arms in a tired motion when a voice from the door took them both by surprise.

"I guess the listening to Morgan when I'm not around part flew out the window?" Dean mused from where he leaned as casually as possible in the doorframe, taking in the scene as if were normal. "What's the rules about jumping on the beds, Sammy?"

Morgan's breath had caught at the voice but Sam surged to he feet with all his normal agility and started to launch himself at his brother has he had once but already seeing the trouble in that plan, she went to reach out a hand to latch on. "Sam, wait…"

"Whoa, kiddo," Dean was thinking the same thing as he placed his hands on his brother's shoulders to stop him and didn't miss the flash of confusion and hurt in the younger Winchester's eyes.

"You hurt, Dean?" Sam asked, his mind not understanding why his brother was holding back unless he was hurt. He knew that Dean tended to do that so as to not worry him.

Seeing a flash of dark emotion in the older Winchester's eyes, Morgan broke in. "Sammy, Dean's still got bruises from before and according to Jack he got tossed around by a vengeful spirit so how about grabbing the first aid kit from the kitchen and setting it up out front."

That suggestion was welcomed by a bright smile as Sam hurried to find the kit which Stan or Jack had better had moved to give her more time to fill his brother in.

"Pay attention, he thinks he's twelve and your sixteen again. His fever has dropped back down to 101.7 but spikes when he gets upset or dreams. He has a few cracked ribs, a mild concussion, and plenty of bruises from those bleedin' hunters who nailed him. His back is infected from wounds he must have gotten from when he was still with you…" she paused to shift a look up. "Great job of watching our Sammy by the way, genuis."

It had been close to fifteen years since she had seen Dean Winchester face to face, ignoring the times she'd checked up on him from a distance, and she had to admit time had been more than kind. The tall, lean, rugged teenager had grown up into a tall rugged man but there was a dark distance in his eyes that hadn't been there before. She hoped he lost that before dealing with his brother.

Not letting on that he'd been going through his own emotional flashback at seeing the young woman who had once been so close to him and his brother, Dean let a smirk slowly form. "I think you can blame the demon bitch for most of that."

"Oh, I blame Ruby for plenty but you get a good portion of it too since you damn well know that Sam does not respond well to threats, bullying or commands. Trying to force him away from her was just like waving a red flag screaming 'go to her'," she replied, starting to push up from the floor when a hand was suddenly held out to her.

"I was kind of dealing with crap right then so I thought he could figure out how much dealing with a demon who encouraged him to suck down demon blood and use his powers was a bad plan," he countered, moving his hand in an impatient motion. "If he's in this shape, how much have you slept? You'd hover over him just to be sure he was alright."

Considering for a moment, Morgan finally placed her hand in his and allowed him to help her up but the years apart didn't change one thing. She knew Dean Winchester and knew exactly what he'd be planning so with a quick move she shifted one foot behind his ankle and while still holding onto his hand soon had him down on the floor.

"De ja vu much?" she knew that would've brought back how they'd first met minus the dark, rainy cemetery, a knife and an enraged zombie. "Suck it up, bury the crap you're holding over him and be his big brother again, Dean because Sammy's still the same inside once you see past the walls he's built up."

Not happy with being taken down…again by Morgan, Dean considered a comeback when he caught the warning look in her blue eyes but also something else. Concern. That and Sam's puppy dog look always made him back down.

Before he could comment or anything else could be said, Sam's voice was heard from the front room. "Hey! Where are you two?" he demanded with all the curiosity that he had as a child then he giggled. "Dean, Bobby told you that if he caught you trying to kiss Morgan again that he'd tan your…"

"Yeah, he's twelve again," the elder Winchester groaned while seeing Morgan wince and he climbed to his feet. "Sammy, what I tell you about saying stuff that embarrasses Morgan?" he chided gently, stepping into the main room to see his brother had laid out the full first aid kit.

Dean took a long moment to examine his brother and didn't like what he was seeing. Sam's hazel eyes still looked cloudy, there was a nice purplish bruise on his forehead, his one eye was swelled and his lip was busted. He could tell by the way he moved where other wounds were but then he recalled something.

"Sammy, let me see your back?" he asked, being cautious as he sat down next to his brother on the sofa and caught the tension. "Morgan said your back was hurting you so let me check it out."

Something made Sam hesitate. He hadn't wanted anyone, not even Morgan, touching his back but Dean was here now and his brother always looked at his wounds so carefully Sam slowly eased his heavy hoodie up to show his back.

Morgan motioned Stan to leave while catching that Jack had decided to remain but at a distance while she moved to the back of the sofa. She knew the moment when Dean found the infected cuts and mess of welts on his back because his face twitched like it usually would when Sam was hurt.

Keeping a hand on his little brother's shoulder, Dean slowly moved his fingers over the red and obviously painful wounds. Thinking back, he struggled to recall when or how he could have gotten these. "Sam, how'd you…" 

"Why were you gone so long, Dean?" as if knowing what was coming, Sam quickly changed the subject his hand moving through his hair nervously and the tell-tale signs were there. He was scared but not sure why. "You said you wouldn't leave again after…"

Letting the shirt drop, Dean leaned back to try to put his brother at ease and in doing so caught Morgan's gaze. "The hunt…took longer than I thought, Sammy." he replied slowly while he watched as their friend slowly sat on his brother's other side. It was an unspoken act that they had used when Sam had been younger to offer him security when he was on edge. "If I would've known that someone would attack you I wouldn't have left besides…Morgan was with you."

Shooting him a warning glare, the British woman laid a hand on Sam's shoulder and felt it shaking. "Sammy, it's safe now. You're safe. No one, hunter, Angel or Demon will hurt you because Dean's with you. You know that."

There was a flash of something briefly in Sam's eyes but it vanished as his head shook. "No cause when Dad comes back he'll make Morgan leave again…just like he did before and I'll still be alone cause I don't want…Dad to…"

"Sam?" Morgan was frowning because this Sam thought he was twelve and his Dad was still alive. Another moment of thinking caused her to look up quickly and pin Dean with a dark look. "Did he hurt Sam?"

"No!" Dean shot back, firm on this since he'd always made damn certain to take the fall for anything that would have sent their father off in a rage. "Sure, he still hit me around at times if something wasn't right but I always made sure he stayed away from Sammy."

Getting to her feet to put distance between herself and the couch so any of the sudden anger wouldn't go near the hurt Winchester, she gave the older one an incredulous stare. "I knew John was crazy but I didn't think he was insane. I told him what would happen if he ever lit into either of you again."

"Yeah, well finding out would be hard since you took off from Bobby's that night while I was gone," Dean remarked, the sarcasm plain but there was also a level of hurt unspoken as he also stood. "Care to tell me what went down that night since the mystic over there says I don't know the whole truth?"

As Jack coughed, Morgan promised to make him pay even while rolling her eyes. "Not right now, I don't since if you're still hardwired to believe what John said then you wouldn't listen now anymore than you would've understood that night."

"Try me," was his reply even though he knew he was treading on cracked ice but it was hit little brother who, as he always had, that broke in.

"Dad threatened to break us up if she stayed. He said that if you were so insistent on hanging around with someone like Morgan, I can't repeat his words, then you weren't a good hunter like he trained and he'd take me and leave," Sam's eyes were huge as they went back and forth between his brother and his friend. "Morgan left because she was protectin' us, Dean. Not cause she wanted to."

Closing her eyes with a soft mutter, she shot him a wry look. "Have I told you that you still talk way too much when you're sick, Sam?" she asked, hearing the low growl and cutting it off. "Don't. I don't want to talk about this right now. Focus on him."

"We will talk later," he warned then his eyes went back to his brother, struggling to come to terms with the recent events even as the words tossed at him by MacShayne came back to him. "Sammy, we…need to talk."

Scooting back on the sofa more, Sam drew his long legs nearly up to his chin in the same self-defense move that Dean had seen him do as a child. "Wha…what I do wrong, De?"

Running a hand through his short brown hair, Dean blew out a breath while wincing at the feel of the light smack to the back of his head. "Quit that," he hissed, hating the smacks she would give him normally but when they were telekinetic smacks it was worse. "Sam, you didn't do anything…" the fluttering of wings cut him off and announced the arrival of his tag-a-long Angel. "Cas."

Morgan caught the way Jack tensed at Castiel's arrival but before she could comment Sam's sudden terrified scream and movements took them all by surprise.

"Nooo!" looking like he'd just seen a cross between a werewolf and a wendigo, Sam lunged off the sofa and ran for the back of the cabin.

"Sam!" Dean shot a look at Morgan who could only shrug before turning to an equally confused Castiel. "What the hell caused that?"

The angel in the tan trench coat could only shrug. "I do not know why my appearance would have made Sam react like…"

"Gee, it couldn't have something to do with the fact that between Lucifer wrecking havoc in the kid's mind when he sleeps and Zachariah using his back for tic-tac-toe a few months ago that Sam might just be a little freaked to see Angels, could it, Castiel?" Jack sneered, pushing off the wall even as something was heard crashing from the back. "Great timing, Cas. You always were wonderful with that."

Before the Angel could think to ask what his 'nephew' was doing with Dean another sound come from the back. Brutal, exhaustive sobbing.

"Winchester, get your bloody ass in gear and help Sammy. If I had thought for a minute you honestly believed what he thought you did of him I wouldn't have bothered telling Jack to pull you from whatever mess you'd stepped into." Morgan snapped, the days of handling Sam had finally token their toll and hearing him cry like this and seeing his fear over the appearance of Castiel had broken the restraint she'd been keeping.

Very little had ever scared his baby brother or least to the degree that Sam had just shown and that worried Dean more than anything else right then. Though one thing did nag his brain. "What the hell did that dick do to Sammy and when?" he demanded, voice dropping to the one that normally meant death was close to anyone who hurt his brother.

"It was shortly before you faced War. You two were holed up in some run down motel, you were passed out drunk after brooding all day as per usual for you these days I hear and Sam went to get dinner," Jack's blue eyes were calm as they looked between Dean's tense face and the way Castiel was now shifting. "One of those bible-belt wannabes saw him and put the 411 out to good ole Zach and let's say from what little I glimpsed in your brother's mind the other night while calming him down, Zach and his goons did one hell of a number on Sammy. Told him to tell you that it was a lesson to you. His back took the worst."

Morgan had paled and sent a look toward the back but a hand on her arm kept her from moving as Dean's fingers moved in a familiar way, almost like signing a message that only she would understand. "Can you handle him?" she only asked, expecting to see the hard lines on his face like she had been since his arrival but instead she was surprised to see a deeper emotion reflected. "He loves you Dean and deep down, past the miles of walls, is the same Sammy."

Suddenly tired, Dean only nodded but this time when he met her eyes, something passed between them. "I know, Angel," he sighed, barely aware that he'd used his nickname for her. "Stay here while I talk to Sam and Cas?" he paused to look back with a harder gaze. "If I find out you know or suspected what that damn douchebag did to my brother then you'd better steer clear of me for awhile."

With that, he left to locate his brother and hopefully put something right but also knowing that if Bobby had wanted to use a shotgun on Cas a few times then Morgan probably could and would do something more drastic and for some reason that Dean couldn't name, that was fine with him.

"I don't know…" Castiel began when a finger shoved against his chest in a not so subtle gesture.

"Get. Out. Now." the quiet British accent was firm but it was the latent energy that shone from her blue eyes that spoke of Morgan's displeasure.

As Castiel decided to object or not, Jack laughed. "Castiel, take me advice. Get the hell outta Dodge before my boss rips those wings right outta you or she takes a knife to your heart and since Morgan does have an actual knife to hurt an Angel, that wouldn't be good for you, dude."

The fluttering of wings told of the departure even as Jack smirked but he could feel the tension in the cabin and hoped those boys came out of this alright.

"Sam?" Dean had followed the sounds through the cabin until he came to the farthest room in the place, a much smaller bedroom with a single twin bed that was covered in discarded books and maps and…he lifted a photo like the one he carried and smirked. "Figures that she gave you the biggest bedroom."

Sharp eyes looked around the room as if expecting a threat but they softened as soon as he found Sam, curled into a corned of the room trying to make himself small while clutching what appeared to be a ragged blanket.

"God, Sammy," he whispered, feeling like someone was lifting the grim doubts and thoughts off of him as he slowly went to kneel down next to his frightened little brother. "Hey, dude. Cas wouldn't hurt you. He's too stiff and…"

"They all want to hurt me."

One simple comment made Dean stop dead, his eyes sharp as they looked at his brother closely. He could see the tears still in his eyes. He recognized the way he curled his shoulders tight into the corner while his arms hugged close to his body that this was a combination of fear, pain and absolute loss.

What he wasn't sure of was which side of Sam had chosen to take control and for the first time in a long time, Dean cursed the high powers that had caused the rift between them.

"Who wants to hurt you, Sam?" he asked cautiously, slowly reaching to place a hand on the blanket that barely covered his brother's legs but it was gripped even tighter but not before he recognized it. Another piece of their lives that made him nearly break.

There was silence except for the soft sounds of sniffling before a quiet voice replied. "Lucifer, demons, angels, hunters, Dad…you."

"Sam…" what the hell did he say to that? Dean didn't have a clue so as he floundered for answers and emotions threatened, he resorted to his age old ploy…stalling.

It was the blanket that he picked to draw his little brother's thoughts to when he more cautiously, not wanting to alarm Sam, touched the edge of the nearly threadbare blue and green thing. "She kept this for you, didn't she?" he asked quietly, remembering a cabin in the Nevada mountains that his brother had carried the blanket nearly everywhere with him. He had stopped seeing it after that last night at Bobby's salvage yard, the night his sixteen year old world had changed.

Seeing his brother's long fingers twisting in the blanket, Dean finally sat down on the floor. "Morgan gave you that up in the mountains that time after…when I was hurt."

"You can say, after Dad beat the living hell outta you when I ran away," Sam replied softly, his eyes on the blanket and in the past, struggling to keep what peace he'd gained. "I was scared because you wouldn't wake up even though Morgan said it was going to be fine. The blanket matched the comforter you had so it made me feel like you were still lookin' out for me." he moved his fingers across the still soft material before speaking again. "I knew she was leavin' for good, that Dad wouldn't let us see Morgan again, and she was scared and hurting because she didn't want to leave that way or leave you that way but she had to so I put it in her bag. I wanted her to have somethin' to 'member us by."

Dean wasn't certain if it was his brother's words, the way he was starting to shorten the words, or the emotion in them that was making his own eyes burn, but he quickly blinked them clear and coughed to ensure a nearly level voice. "She'd always remember you Sammy. You were as much an annoying little brother to Morgan as you were to me."

It was a couple of seconds before hazel eyes shifted to briefly look at him before a worn leather book, much like the one they still had of their Father's, was nudged closer to him. "She 'membered you too, De."

"What's…?" Dean flipped the book open curiously, expecting to see maybe Sam's expressive writing but was a little startled to recognize the mix-up writing style that Morgan always favored. After a couple pages, he slowly began to realize why some of his solo hunts had been easier than he'd expected or why the cops hadn't nailed his ass on times when they certainly should have. "Son of a bitch."

"She didn't just happen to find a random bar in Oregon just as I was nailed," Sam spoke and drew his brother back. "She's been watching us so you might want to reconsider picking the fight you're probably leading up to."

"I stopped pickin' fights with her after she out me down the first time, Sammy," Dean chuckled, growing serious. "Sam, do you know where you are? What happened to you?"

Again, his little brother's face closed up and he tried to curl away but this time a warm hand on his shoulder kept him still, even though it had tensed with the touch.

"I…I was attacked…again," there was no humor in the voice when Sam spoke even though his last word had a dry laugh attached to it. "Hunters wanted me to…they tried to make me drink…" his fingers suddenly seized Dean's wrist and wide eyes locked onto his older brother's. "I didn't drink it, Dean. They tried to make me but…it hurt and they…"

"I know, Sammy, I know," Dean felt the anger again that hunters, men that they'd known and had known their Dad, had tried to hurt his little brother. "I should've been…"

A firm shake of a shaggy head and whispered 'no' was heard. "Didn't want them to hurt you. They threatened to and I didn't give a damn if they killed me so long as they didn't go after you. I mean, you want me dead so what's the differ…"

"Who in the hell said I wanted you dead?" Dean's anger showed in the louder tone with that question and he instantly winced at the slap he could feel but ignored it in favor of finally forcing Sam's head up so he could look fully at him. "Sam? I know we've both said and done some stupid things the past few months but I know that I never said those words to you, now who did?"

"Didn't have to say 'em," was the bitter, almost childish, retort as Sam tried to pull away. "Can just tell that's how you feel, how you've felt since…well since before with Ruby and all that crap and why shouldn't you want me dead?" he demanded bitterly, not aware of the new reign of tears that had started again. "I betrayed you so many times, I became evil while you were in Hell because of me, I let loose the damn Devil on the world and…you hate me and won't be my brother anymore so…why should I care if I end up dead or…"

Letting his little brother ramble probably wasn't a good thing but if Dean knew one thing it was once an emotional Sammy got wound up it was best to let him get it all out and then pick up the pieces. Right then, he was busy wondering why he hadn't been bitch-slapped all over the damn cabin by now.

'It was tempting but helping our Sammy was the more important thing,' a soft voice spoke in his mind, using a link that he'd almost forgotten had been there. 'After you fix this mess, that's a whole 'nother ballgame, hotshot.'

"Great thing to know," Dean muttered, noticing that Sam had finally became quiet except for the occasional sob he tried to bury. "You done yet so I can get a word in?"

Keeping his face turned, Sam shuddered but whether it was in pain or fear, that wasn't clear. "Why pretend?" he asked. "He showed me. He showed me that you'd kill me…you still think I'm a monster like we hunt and need to die…so why pretend to care? Just get it the hell over with."

Expecting to feel the normal anger that he had been feeling ever since that night in the convent, Dean was a little surprised when all he felt at his brother's despondent tone and words was…weary pain and more than a little guilt.

Pain that he'd allowed his little brother, the one person he'd loved almost his entire life, to feel that Dean hated him. That he thought he should die. Guilt because he knew that if he'd been stronger, none of this crap would've had happened to either of them.

"He's the Prince of damn Lies, Sam. Lucifer lies, no matter what he says and he'd lie to you just to…" he stopped when his brother's eyes finally shifted to his and he saw pain and fear just as he realized that it wasn't Lucifer who had put those ideas in Sammy's head. "Geez, Sammy. After all the screwin' around that Zachariah's done to us, you actually think that dick would tell the truth?" he scoffed, wondering just what else the bastard had done to his brother. "He wanted Lucifer out so he kept me from getting to you, he wants you to say yes so he nudged us farther apart so you'd be alone. You honestly think I'd allow you to be hurt if I could stop it?"

Sam was silent but his eyes slid away while he drew his knees up to his chin, clutching the blanket tighter again. A clear but unspoken reply that he had.

"Shit," Dean blew out a breath, wanting to shout and feeling his temper building but knowing that his brother had never, not even as a child, responded well to that and after a moment of thought decided he was suddenly too tired to yell.

Slowly, he sat fully on the floor and leaned up against the wall closest to the corner. Being careful not to invade Sam's space more than he was willing to allow but still was close enough, closer than he had been getting these past months as he stretched his legs out in front of him.

Still feeling the mild pain in his body from the last attack by the balding Angel and the emotional trauma he'd faced after Zachariah's trip to the 'future' where Lucifer had indeed held court in Sam's body, Dean closed his eyes for a few minutes and just let silence settle between them.

"I remember the day the said your first word," he began slowly, speaking quietly in a tone he only used when it was just him and Sam and he was getting ready to kick his 'no chick-flick moments' rule to the curb. "I'd been trying for weeks to get you to say 'Dad' or even 'hey you' but out of the blue one day at breakfast you said 'De' and I don't know who was more shocked, me or Dad because I sure wasn't expecting your very first word to be my name. Most babies learn to say Daddy or Mommy but not you. Hell, you even walked to me before you did to Dad. Guess I never considered all the reasons behind that until you were eighteen and had that last fight with him before leaving for college."

Keeping his eyes closed while talking, Dean felt himself relaxing but also felt his brother's tense body had shifted slightly. He wasn't curled quite as tight to the corner anymore and his harsh breathing seemed to have lessened.

"When I carried you outta the house the night of the fire, I didn't think anything of it. Dad had put you in my arms and told me to run and I did but in doing so I guess I'd sealed a promise that I had made the first time Mom let me hold you. I had promised myself that I'd always take care of my baby brother and after that night, I did," he paused to chuckle as he thought back. "Sure, most people say it was because Dad became obsessed with hunting, but it wasn't the real reason. I took care of you because I wanted to. I made sure to always be the one who was there when you woke up because when you were a baby, I loved watching you first wake up and look for me. You used to do the silliest baby laugh first thing when you woke up and it made me feel alive because I had you to take care of. I'd give you a bath, make sure you always had clean clothes and toys to play with while Dad hunted."

Dean paused to consider before deciding it was time to drop the walls and just toss it all out. "Dad's standard 'Take care of Sammy' line used to make me laugh and just want to say 'Duh, you think?' because lookin' after you is what I always did. Yeah, sometimes it was hard and sometimes I might've acted like it was a pain in the ass, especially after you started gettin' older but I never stopped lookin' after you. I made sure you had the best life that I could give you considerin' our lives. I took the most chores and made damn sure he never found out if you slipped on yours and I always tried to divert his anger away from you because while I didn't give a crap what happened to me, I sure as hell cared what happened to you, Sammy."

The sound of movement told him that his shaky little brother had turned to watch him but was still staying silent, though he clearly had his attention. "After Flagstaff and he flipped out when I lost you, I don't really know much of the afterevents…hell, I don't even know what really went down between Morgan and Dad except Caleb told me later that he hoped to hell that he never got her that mad at him. I know that I slipped a little in the taking care of you area but I tried to blame that on the anger I felt at her just leaving the way she did while I was out getting some stuff from town. I still caught how hurt you acted, how sullen and the way you hid in the junkyard in the daytime. Something happened with Dad, didn't it, Sam?"

He wasn't certain if it was the quiet of the room or the casualness of the question that actually got his brother to answer but Dean did hear the soft 'Yeah' that was whispered. Though, he also caught the sound of glass breaking in the front of the cabin and was silently glad that the British woman didn't have a way to get to John Winchester right then. "Tell me about it?"

"I was angry. I had hid at the top of Bobby's steps that night after Dad had sent you into town because I knew it had been his only way to get you and Morgan apart and as soon as you were gone, the yelling started," Sam spoke softly, wary of this and he kept looking at his older brother as if to gauge his emotions. "After Morgan was gone, Dad saw me and told me to go to bed. I screamed at him and the next thing I remember is Bobby shoving Dad out the door. Tellin' him to go get cooled off and not to come back until he did."

Dean swallowed a little heavily at that, filling in the blanks and not liking it but he sidestepped that for now in favor of keeping himself on track in order to bring his brother back. "I always tried to look out for you. Even when you were being a snot nosed teenager who fought with him constantly I tried to do what I had to for you. It wasn't until that night that I realized maybe why you bucked him so much. Do you remember what you said to him? It was one of the rare times that I had seen Dad go white right before he went for your throat."

"I told him that while he might've been my Father by blood, he wasn't my Dad. You were because you were the one who sacrificed everything to raise me and so you'd always have my respect and love but he'd only caused us grief and pain." Sam answered the rhetorical question in the same soft tone but didn't hide the catch that showed. "You hated me after that night too though."

With a small laugh, Dean shook his head. "Never hated you, Sammy," he corrected, opening one eye a little to look next to him. "I was hurt by your choice to leave and when I'm hurt, I hurt back but even as I drove you to the bus station I was proud of you. You'd done what you said you would and gotten away from him, you earned a full ride to Stanford and could have that normal life you wanted."

Wanting to reach out, Dean stayed still because he knew it was too soon to make that move. "Seeing you leave was probably like what a parent felt like when a kid finally leaves the nest but hell, little brother aside you were mine and it hurt being alone." he admitted, not ashamed of the tears clouding his vision as he fought to finally say what he always should have said. "Dad started leaving soon after and when we did hunt together it was tense. Yeah, I could've called Morg but like the idiot that I am, I listened to Dad about why she left and didn't want the pain again. I left you alone for the most part because I knew you wanted a clean break but that didn't mean that I didn't check up on you…though I'm guessin' I wasn't the only one to do that."

"If you woulda known what I'd become, would you have saved me from the fire?" the sudden question took Dean off guard because he drew a sharp breath that had Sam pulling back again as if expecting a slap or fist, something that his brother had become good at giving.

Fighting to even the emotions that one brought on, Dean closed his eyes again and recalled the tiny warm little body that he'd held that night while then considering the man that baby had grown into.

"What? Would I have saved you if I'd known you'd grow up into a giant 6'4" Sasquatch with a big brain, clumsy feet, shaggy hair and even bigger heart?" Dean scoffed lightly, waving a hand in mock dismissal but heard the sound next to him and sighed, seeing that Sam wasn't going to take that for a reply. "What exactly have you become that would've made me not want to save you?"

A snort of disbelief was heard and Sam nearly unfolded himself to face his suddenly too calm brother fully. "A monster. A guy with demon blood inside him who has hurt you, betrayed you and everything you taught me, slept with a demon who was just using me against you. The guy who broke the last seal, let Lucifer out of his box and started the damn Apocalypse. The monster who, while possessed by a demon, killed a hunter and…" his voice suddenly broke in emotion and he started to turn away until a hand suddenly stilled him.

"O-kay, let's take this one by one," Dean finally opened his eyes to look at his brother firmly, no longer finding Sam's opinions of himself amusing. "First, you are not a monster and the first son of a bitch who calls you one will have my gun upside their head or I'll turn Morgan loose. Next, you weren't born with demon blood in you, Sam. If anyone, besides that damn Yellow-Eyed bastard, is to blame for that happening to you, it's Mom…shut up, I have the floor now," he cut off the words his brother would have said.

"Mom made a deal, Sammy and it came out worse than what she was expecting. Sure, she didn't know what the demon was going to do but the fact of it is, she made the deal that allowed him to enter our house and touch you so that isn't something you can hang onto since you didn't ask for it. Next, tell me how you betrayed me or the stuff I taught you and I'll find a dozen reasons why you didn't…"

"I shot you with rocksalt in that damn asylum, I walked out how many times, I didn't tell you about my dreams, I…" Sam's words tripped over themselves as Dean smirked.

"Leave it to you to still be guilt-trippin' over that whole asylum deal," Dean snorted, rolling his eyes. "Sammy, some crazy nut had fried your brain so I didn't put a whole lotta stock in what you said even though a lot of it was true. We were two different people and yeah, it drove me nuts when you wanted to have an opinion of your own, that was just me trying to lock you in a glass jar to keep you from being hurt again," he declared, clearing his throat. "A part of me hated myself for dragging you back into this crap, especially after Jessica died and you were so damn broken but the other part, the selfish part, was glad to have you back because I'd missed you so much."

Dean paused, aware that his hand hadn't been shrugged off even though the arm under it was still tense. "Every time you got hurt though it was like when you were six and I was powerless to keep you safe. When those damn crazy rednecks grabbed you, I nearly went mad with worry and I didn't give a damn if I'd been arrested, just so I had you back safe…and you still owe me the truth on what happened to you. We'll skip that right now since I've skipped a few things…the whole demon bitch thing only happened because I left you alone…"

"You went to Hell because of me," Sam cut in, rubbing a hand over his eyes in a familiar motion that made Dean's heart break. "What's dead should stay dead and you shoulda left me for dead. That way none of this woulda…."

Glass broke again and Dean winced. "I don't really think you should say that where she can hear it or I won't be the only Winchester getting slapped today," he pointed out, lowering his voice slightly. "Sammy, I never questioned or regretted my choice that day. I made the deal because it was my only way to save you and do you want to know what Plan B would've been if I couldn't make a deal?" he went on before his brother could reply. "I probably still have the message to Bobby saved in the draft folder on my phone since I'd already written the note to tell him what to do because if I couldn't have my brother, the next plan was to blow my brains all over that room."

Finally Sam's eyes, which had started to clear, jerked up to meet his brother's green ones. "No…you…you had everything to live for," he argued softly. "I was always causing trouble, getting' you hurt or…"

"Besides Morgan, Sammy, you were the only thing I cared about and without you I sure as hell wasn't plannin' on living with you rotting in the ground or on a funeral pyre," Dean countered. "My biggest mistake then was not swallowin' my damn pride and finding her so that Morgan could be with you. If I had then that skank sure as hell wouldn't have gotten within two feet of you without being fried and then none of the demon blood stuff would've happened or…"

"She said the more demons I killed the sooner I could get you outta there," Sam whispered, dropping his eyes. "That was how she got me started on the blood because she said I needed to be stronger to help you."

That admission made Dean's face twitch slightly but he shoved it down for a time when he wasn't facing a scared little brother. "You aren't a monster, Sammy. Ruby played on the fears you had and I was too busy that time trying to ignore that I was leavin' you alone that I didn't let you face those fears with me so when she turned on the charm, you were easy meat for her. When I came back, I should've tried harder to be a brother for you but I was still so screwed up that I wasn't seein' what was happenin' with you until it was too late and by then she'd sunk her hooks in too deep. Maybe if I hadn't come on so strong that night we wouldn't have fought but…"

"It was like lookin' out of my eyes when Meg was in control. I didn't want to fight you that night before the convent but it was just…happening," Sam risked a glance up, too see if he'd see the same hate or disappointment in his brother's eyes. "I was scared at the convent, I really just wanted you but then I heard that voicemail you left and…I knew I'd screwed it up and lost my brother."

"Just by saying I was still mad at you and still owed you a serious beatdown convinced you that you'd lost me?" Dean blinked in confusion, recalling something that MacShayne had mentioned about Sam not hearing his message right. "Sam, what the hell did you hear?"

His brother slid his eyes away and bit his lip, not wanting to remember those words but as the hand on his shoulder squeezed gently, he sighed. "You called me a monster, a vampire that was no better than the things we hunted and that you were through with me."

"Huh," Dean grunted, running his tongue around his teeth while his brain swirled in emotions. "Morgan! Any chance that mystic out there can burn that goddamn Angel out of existence?" he called, knowing she was close enough to hear him.

"Probably," came the reply which meant that it wouldn't probably happen soon anyway. "Dean."

"Sammy, that's not what I said," he spoke firmly, finally moving so he was close enough to fully reach out and touch his little brother. "No matter what you've done, you are not a monster and I would never say that to…"

Sam's arm finally did jerk free of the light touch but didn't move away, he just moved so he could look at Dean fully, the still present tears liquid in large hazel eyes. "You said you couldn't trust me anymore, that it could never be the way it was because of what I did and…no matter what I do to make you trust me again or look at me like your brother it just goes wrong."

"Why should you trust me, Sam?" Dean suddenly asked, seeing that took him by surprise so he went on. "I've pretty much taken my frustrations out on you since I got back. I tricked you into Bobby's Panic Room to go cold turkey on demon blood by yourself, I've let you down so many times and hurt you, so why should you still trust me?"

Blinking at the sudden question, Sam could only answer with his heart. "Because you're my big brother and I've always trusted you, Dean." he lowered his head again. "I deserve your hate but it's the not having you as my brother that makes me…"

The sudden breaking of his voice and the tears finally did it and Dean threw in the proverbial towel, reaching over quickly to place both hands on his shaking little brother's face and forced his head back up to eye level.

"I. Do. Not. Hate. You." he slowly spoke each word to be sure they got through, swallowing the lump that was forming. "Sammy, you've made mistakes. I've made mistakes and we've both been used by both ends of this little war but nothing short of my death will ever make me hate you or stop being your bro…your big brother," he vowed.

Voice deep with emotions he normally would steer clear of but this was one of those times that he'd call do-over on once he was certain Sam was better, Dean let one hand slide around to grip his brother's neck in a way that he'd done before and pulled him closer. "I know you're hurt and scared, Sammy and God, if I could take every damn thing back that I'd said or done I would but I can't. I just need you to believe that I would never hurt you or allow something else to hurt you if I could keep from it," he stated firmly, holding large puppy dog eyes that told him he was slowly getting through. "I'm sorry some dumb-ass hunters hurt you while I was too busy feeling sorry for myself and I'm sorry that you thought you couldn't tell me that Zachariah had hurt you to get at me because you are and will always be my baby brother and the same rule apply. Anyone who hurts you doesn't live to see tomorrow."

Sam, for the first time since he'd released Lucifer, lifted his eyes up to fully meet those of his big brother and didn't see the weariness in his flat green eyes. Today when he locked eyes, he saw brilliant green that shined with a familiar but long since missing look of protectiveness that he honestly hadn't seen since the night their Father died.

"Dean?" shaking, he hesitated before slowly, cautiously reaching a hand out to grip his brother's shirt as if needing something to ground him. "You…you are real, right? This isn't a trick or…"

Hearing the mild fear still in Sam's voice made Dean all too aware that either Angel or Demon had tried to use him against Sam and he silently vowed to find a way to keep that from happening again. "Yeah, little brother, it's me," he reassured him, shifting a look to the door before lowering his voice so only Sam would hear him. "Give me a second and I'll tell you about that time in that mountain cabin after you'd gone to bed that…Ouch!"

This mental slap wasn't quite as gentle and came with a sharp warning of more later if he even thought of telling that but he still grinned. "Later, Sammy," he promised, and then gave a slight tug to pull his still wary and trembling little brother into a hug that neither expected Sam to return. "C'mere, Sammy."

Sam, on instinct of recent days, tensed upon contact but the touch of leather under his hands and the jacket's familiar smell that reminded him of earlier, happier days and of his brother suddenly made the walls he'd been building crumble a little and he latched on to both the jacket and Dean with both arms. He wasn't caring that he was an adult or that he'd pretty much buried his face into Dean's neck and let the emotions he'd been hiding go with abandon.

"Sshh, it's okay, Sammy," Dean soothed, getting a better grip on his now sobbing younger Winchester to pull him the rest of the way into his arms and allowed him to cry, feeling Sam's fingers grip his shirt tighter while his other arm had snaked its way around Dean's chest. "It's going to be alright, kid. I won't promise smooth sailing all the time because this is us but I will promise to make it better and kill the next son of a bitch who thinks about touching you," he spoke quietly, keeping his voice low. His one hand began to gently rub the familiar circles and signals against Sam's shaking back while his other hand carded through his longer than usual hair. "It'll be good and so will we."

They stayed like this for a long while until Sam had calmed somewhat, though he still clung to Dean and for the first time since returning from Hell, he felt like he was close to having his Sammy back which eased the rest of the tension from the eldest brother.

"Don' go, De," Sam was slipping into sleep as exhaustion finally was making him fall to sleep but at least he was relaxed and felt safe to sleep, something he hadn't been feeling even before the attack. "Don't leave me again?"

"Not going anywhere, little brother," Dean assured him in a voice that was gruff from emotion but as he felt the tension finally melt out of Sam's body and the kid went limp against him, he was able to let out a breath he'd been holding. "Not ever again. We face what comes together or not at all."

Shifting slightly in order to place Sam in a more comfortable position, Dean sighed when his larger but still younger brother latched on tighter as if afraid to be moved. "Sammy, c'mon, lets at least get you to a bed or something," he urged quietly but only got a near whimper in reply.

A step from beside them had Dean's head jerking up and a hand automatically going for the gun he'd placed close by when a feeling stopped him. "Hey, babe."

"Pretty sure of yourself aren't you, Dean?" Morgan knelt down beside him, her eyes moving over Sam with concern but she noticed that the younger man looked at ease. "He alright?"

Glancing between them, Dean moved his head in a way that meant he could only hope so. "He's sleeping but he's holding on so damn tight it reminds me of when he was four and had a bad dream."

"Sammy's scared you'll be gone when he wakes up so he's holding on. He did that in the cabin too." Morgan shrugged, glancing at the twin bed before back to Sam with a slight frown. "He is not fitting on this bed."

"Nope. I've found very few Sammy-size beds in our travels," Dean smirked, moving his eyes up to look at the British girl and noticed the dark circles. "When was the last time you slept?"

Morgan considered before giving him a look that could've mirrored one of his own. "I'll sleep when I know he's safe and maybe after I beat the living hell outta you for letting it get this bad," she replied and then nodded back over her shoulder. "Jack fixed the bed in his room which will fit him but can I ask, what the bloody hell did you feed this kid to make him grow this tall?"

"Uh-huh, it was all that green crap that you got him hooked on," he tossed back, keeping his voice low so not to wake his brother up. "He sprouted around fourteen or so but even I was shocked when he went past me."

"I bet," she grinned at his dark look but then laid a hand on Sam's side. "You want help getting him back in there?"

Dean considered how to move his sleeping brother without waking him up and possibly upsetting him. "Guess we could try that mystic of yours and let him do the teleport thing."

"Oh, we don't need Jack for that, luv," she smiled slightly before moving a hand and using the one power she rarely used. "Bloody hell, that hurt."

"When the hell did you learn to do that?" Dean demanded in a low voice, looking at Sam but was pleased to see that he was still asleep but he shifted to move closer to Dean's side.

Morgan waved it off to lean against the dresser. "I always could but I don't normally…for obvious reasons," she muttered, seeing Dean frown and start to move. "No, if you even twitch wrong he'll wake up. I'm fine."

Looking for the first time, Dean could tell his friend wasn't really fine. Her normally pale skin was even more so right then and hands that he knew were always stable were now shaking slightly.

She'd been fourteen the last time he'd seen her, two years younger than him, and he had made a firm choice to overlook her abilities because he knew she was a good person. She had doted on Sam and being able to understand and handle the world of the weird and undead, he'd formed a fast friendship…or if he wanted to admit it, something deeper. Something that was destroyed and he still had no clue why.

"We need to talk, Morgan," he finally spoke, seeing that Sam had eased his grip on Dean's shirt but only so that he could roll on his side with both arms around his brother. "It's okay, Sammy. You're fine."

"Yeah, but not until he's awake or stable," Morgan threw back, not ready to have this out yet with Dean because she knew in some way he still looked up to his Father so it was just as well if he believed what he'd been told. "Later…maybe."

Shooting her a firm look that was his normal 'don't try to play games' look, Dean just nodded but before she could move away he shot out a hand to grab her wrist. "I owe you for looking after Sam."

"We made a vow, Dean, that no one would hurt 'our' Sammy while either of us could protect him," Morgan reminded quietly, eyes softening as they always did when it was just them and Sam. "He loves you, though I still don't see why. You are still the most exasperating, hard-headed, stubborn man in the damn world," she complained but the smile that played on her lips told the truth of that.

"I'm an awesome big brother and that's why Sammy loves me," Dean teased back though as he moved his hand from her wrist to her hand, he looked up. "You used to adore me about as much as I recall."

"Sure, until you went and did something stupid," Morgan grinned, easily freeing her hand while leaning down to card her fingers through Sam's hair before brushing a friendly kiss over his forehead and was glad to feel him finally cool. "Go to sleep, hotshot," she urged Dean, standing up.

He'd watched her with his brother and felt the same warmth that he had back then. Sam, at twelve, had only allowed Morgan to do that and it was clear it was still the same way. "Hey, as I recall I used to get one of those or are we still playing favorites?"

Narrowing a look at the elder Winchester, Morgan appeared to be considering that and since with Sam limiting Dean's movements, she smiled slightly. "You'll always be my favorite, Dean," she told him softly, then leaned closer but before he could make the move she knew he was considering she lightly kissed his forehead the same way and then backed away, but they both knew that kiss was meant with different intentions. "Get some sleep and then maybe we'll talk."

Dean waited until she had left the bedroom to breathe, easing back on the bed to lean against the headboard while Sam moved closer but appeared to be at peace as he slept. "Yeah, we're talking for sure, Angel," he whispered, determined this time he was leaving with answers and hopefully a healed heart that he'd ignored for years. "Sam, I may need to talk you into pretending to be sick for a little longer since we both know she won't kill me if you're sick."

Sleep came fast for the eldest Winchester now that Sam was sleeping fully so Dean didn't wake up at the soft touch that ran through his own short hair or the even softer kiss that brushed his mouth.

"Sorry, Dean, but you and Sam need to concentrate on things fully and neither of us are ready to face the past yet," Morgan whispered, placing the envelope on the nightstand before slipping out of the cabin to eye Jack MacShayne. "You make damn sure no Angel or Demon comes near them now."

"Yeah, that'll be fine considering," Jack muttered, wondering if he shouldn't warn his employer that it wasn't going to be that easy to get these two out of her life again. "Nahh, why ruin the fun?"

_A/N: A short epilogue will follow to tie up things with the boys. Thanks again for those who have read, reviewed, and marked this as a favorite. It means a lot._


	5. Epilogue

Epilogue

It was the sound of something thudding close by that woke Dean Winchester out of a sound sleep but then he remembered his recent days and instantly looked for the sleeping baby brother who had been right by him for…hell, he had no clue how long he'd been asleep.

Seeing that Sam wasn't in the bed made him wary until the door to the bathroom opened and he immediately locked eyes with his brother.

Sam still looked pale and drawn but the bruises were starting to fade on his face and chest…though he'd have to check his back to see about those. Dressed in a pair of faded and worn jeans, he was holding one of his old hoodies when he noticed his brother was watching him. "Hey," he murmured, voice quiet as if he wasn't sure what would happen now.

"Hey yourself," Dean nodded, sitting up fully with a groan. "How long have you been up and moving?"

"About an hour," was the reply and Dean sensed that his brother was awkward. "Dean…um, you didn't have to stay or…"

Pushing to his feet, he reached over to place a firm hand on the back of Sam's neck and pulled his head down so their foreheads could touch. "Sammy, I said I was staying and I meant it. How much of what I said do you remember hearing?"

Having been more in control of his thoughts that night, Sam had been surprised that he did recall most of what his brother had said and also what he'd done…though he was going to give Dean the easy out on most of it. "Did you mean what you said?"

"Sammy, I just woke up and I said a lot so narrow it down. Did I mean what?" his brother returned, noticing that things in the room had been moved which meant Sam had been awake for awhile and that always meant trouble cause Sam thought too much when alone.

"When you said that you'd never think me a monster and that you'd always…" swallowing, Sam let his focus turn to getting the hoodie on over still sore injuries. "…that you'd always be my big brother?"

Moving a hand, Dean helped pull the hoodie that was once too huge for his brother but now was only a little loose, down fully in order to find shy hazel eyes. "Yeah, I meant it. You'll always be my little brother…even when you're a pain in the ass," he replied then smiled. "Now, lay back down and rest while I shower before I find a certain person who still spoils you rotten and…"

"She's gone, Dean."

Three words that still managed to throw him. Dean turned to see his brother holding an envelope and he instantly felt the change in the cabin. "Damn her!" he growled, fighting not to snatch the envelope from Sam who was watching him carefully.

"She's still protecting you, Dean," he sighed, knowing what his brother was thinking. "Plus, I think she's a little scared. I mean, she still have feelings for you so it has to be hard to face all of this."

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Dean unfolded the letter and immediately recognized the handwriting as he began to read…

'_Dean, I know you'll be mad when you wake up but it's for the best right now. You still need to focus fully on Sam until he's completely healed and feels safe with you again. This wasn't the time to unbury the past and dig up stuff that you buried because you won't like the real reason I left. There'll be another time because I know Sam showed you the diary…the little sneak swiped it out from under me somehow, so you know that I've always been keeping an eye on you two jerks. That won't stop because contrary to what John thought, I've always had yours and Sammy's best interests at heart._

'_Jack and his family will work on keeping their relatives away as much as possible…and yeah, I'm sure you have questions on how Angels can be related to mystics but that's another headache. Just keep your bloody head clear and remember that you have one vital thing to protect and that's Sammy because if I ever find him in the state that I did this time, head slaps be damned, you and me will have more than words, Dean. Just remember the cemetery the first night we met and ask what I know now. Watch yourself too, you damn stubborn moron._

'_My cell number is at the bottom and Jack made sure the Impala, God I can't believe you still have those bloody cassettes, arrived on one piece and it's out front. Stay at the cabin for as long as you and Sam need to, it's mine so don't worry about it and it's shielded from Demons and Angels now._

'_Tell Sam to be good, get his hair cut back to shaggy length and…be careful, Dean. Love, Morgan.'_

Swallowing, he refolded the letter and slipped it into his pocket. "She says to cut your hair," he knew Sam had been watching him intently even before the bed dipped down as his brother sat beside him.

"She's still as bossy as you," Sam muttered but he seemed pleased, laying a hand on Dean's arm. "We'll see her again, Dean. We can find her now."

"Oh, we're going to find her, Sammy," Dean promised, then looked up with light eyes. The letter hadn't made him as angry as he figured it would. In fact, it had been exactly what he'd expected Morgan would say. "Lets see what our girl stocked this place with before I check to be sure the Impala made it here without a scratch."

Sam grinned but rolled his eyes, he could remember what was in the kitchen and figured his brother wouldn't go hungry. "Morgan knows what that car means to you so I'm sure she pressed that point to Jack," he replied.

"Yeah, but I need to complain to her about something when I use this cell number she left for us," Dean paused to watch Sam's movements.

He was slow and his one leg still seemed to limp but Dean knew those would heal. Breathing freely and without tension for the first time in awhile, he laid a hand on his little brother's shoulder. "We'll hang out here until you're well enough to travel."

"Dean, I'm fine. We can…" Sam blinked when the hand tightened slightly.

"We stay until I know you're well enough to handle traveling, Sammy," Dean repeated then added in a low mutter. "Bitch."

Sam rolled his eyes again in what had been his standard 'Sammy eye-roll' but finally shrugged. "Whatever…jerk," he grinned when his brother smiled and then just waited for the yelling because Sam had already looked over the Impala and he figured Dean would not be happy when he saw the harmless little addition that was waiting on the drivers seat.

Like Dean would react well to the CD player adapter when he threw a fit over Sam's Ipod but Sam knew that if he and Dean had some nifty prank wars than the little digs he and Morgan exchanged were always an interesting distraction. "Yep, fun times." he smiled as he caught the box the Lucky Charms and his brother's soft muttering about being her favorite.

The End…for now

_A/N: Well, finally it's the end. Sorry it grew so long but the boys decided to be chatty at times and one can't control the muse. Thanks for the reviews. They always mean a lot. I have a larger story planned that will spin off from this one since Dean still has issues to deal with and more fun stuff._


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